Is Your Faith In Yourself Greater Than Your Fear of the Future?

 

“Kim Beckham’s message at the East Texas Leadership Summit 2018 provided a blueprint for me to take action in an area of my life.”

This was a quote sent to me by a young lady, who heard me speak at a local leadership event. I shared in the speech some key truths from my soon to be published book,“Game Changers, The People, Places and Ideas That Change Your Life.”  She wrote down five of them and put them to work. Just like I do when I coach people, I encouraged the participants in the seminar that knowledge is only useful when we put it to work. This woman did just that and she landed a new job with a huge increase in pay.

In my last blog, I wrote about her use of the concept I coached her on, which was “doing a new thing.”  Today, I want to share the second concept I shared with the group, which was overcoming fear by developing faith.

Here’s the teaching:“You will be able to take action, when your faith in yourself is greater than your fear of the future.”  People get paralyzed by fear, because they are uncertain of the what the future will bring.

  • What if the economy has a downturn?
  • What if my health fails?
  • What if a major competitor to my business moves into town?
  • What if, what if, what if?

These kinds of open-ended fears can cause us to fail to make the bold moves that will drive our careers and lives forward.

The fact is that the future will always be unknown, but there is one thing you can know for sure and can count on to make your dreams come true.  You can count on yourself.  You know you!  You have come this far in life by using your mind, skills, and passions to reach goals that once seemed impossible to you.  You can count on you.  Remind yourself of your strengths.

When I coach people, I encourage to them to create the list of 25.   Everyone should have one in their desk drawer, on their phone, or somewhere else close by.  This is a list of 25 things you are proud of that you have accomplished in your life. It can be as small as learning to ride a bicycle, or as large as starting a business.  The key is to write them down and don’t stop till you get to 25.  Then, when your fears rise or you’re having a negative day, pull out your list and read them aloud.  Remind yourself of just how competent you are and then get back to work.

When your faith in yourself is bigger than you fear of the future, you can and will accomplish your goals.

So take action on your dream today.   Make 2019 the best year of your life by replacing fear of the future with faith in yourself.

 

 

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO

 

Cue the music…. Enter the sweet tenor voice of Neil Sedaka  1967


Down dooby doo down down
Comma, comma, down dooby doo down down
Comma, comma, down dooby doo down down
Breaking up is hard to do

Don’t take your love away from me
Don’t you leave my heart in misery
If you go then I’ll be blue
‘Cause breaking up is hard to do

This blog is not about romance or a trip down memory lane to my misspent youth, it’s about making difficult choices about successful disciplines.   A surprising trap for goal oriented people is getting stuck in disciplines that are no longer productive.   Have you had this experience?  You set a goal to lose some weight, and then you start a particular exercise routine.  You spend some money and get some excellent support and direction and it works for you.  You lose the weight and shape up and so you continue the program.  But, time creeps on and you find yourself a couple of years later and for varied reasons the discipline is no longer working for you, but you just keep following and paying for it.   New ideas catch your attention and you think about trying them, but you just can’t bring yourself to break up with your old discipline.  What’s going on?

Some of the very strengths that make you successful in life can cause you to get stuck in routines:

  • Successful people are loyal
  • Successful people are not quitters
  • Successful people know the value of positive habits

But let’s look at those traits again and apply them realistically to an unproductive discipline:

  • Loyalty should be to your ultimate goal, not the current technique you are following
  • Quitting can be a wise choice if you are merely switching techniques or programs
  • Habits are only valuable when they are positive, and they are only positive when you are getting results.

Breaking up is hard to do.   But, it can be productive and in many cases it will lead to greater success.  If you find yourself stuck in a routine, reexamine your ultimate goal and make the choices that will bring you success rather than pander to your habits.  Never underestimate the jumpstart that a new beginning can bring to your goals.  A new workout program, a new career coach or accountability partner, or a new morning routine could breathe fresh life into your career and personal success.   So go ahead, break up…. After all, you’re not Neil Sedaka and it’s not 1967.

 

 

 

Goals- Taking Aim

 

Years ago, as a young man, I loved to hunt quail. There is nothing more exhilarating than to be walking through the brush and have a covey of birds, take off almost right under your feet. Sometimes, there will be six or more birds come up with a sound that really gets your adrenalin going. You raise your gun to shoot and the sky seems filled with birds and you feel like you can’t possibly miss. This is where I learned a valuable lesson about life from hunting quail.   If you just shoot into the group, you probably won’t bring down a single bird. I know I made this mistake several times. What you have to do is carefully target just one bird before you shoot. Your chances of success go up by a huge margin and you might have time to focus on one more before they are out of range. But, the point is… you have to choose a particular target.

This is the success secret behind setting goals. Life is full of opportunity and as you enter this New Year your “sky” may be filled with “birds” of every kind.   If you don’t take the time to target what you really want, you will have only mediocre success. You must choose what you want and aim carefully to attain it.

Every year, I set about sixty goals in five different areas of my life. I set goals for finances, relationships, my job, my family, and my spiritual life.   I write these goals down and I review them at least once a week. Some of the goals I review daily. Lately, I have been recording key goals and listening to them every day.   I write down the progress I make on my goals during the year and I check off the goals I’ve completed. I believe my productivity is 1000% greater in all areas of my life than if I hadn’t learned the power of setting goals.

  • Goals provide directions to your efforts.
  • Goals allow you to eliminate time wasters
  • Goals provide you criteria for determining what is important
  • Goals activate the power of the subconscious mind
  • Goals demand accountability
  • Goals increase your productivity exponentially

It’s a new year. It’s full of opportunity. It’s time to take careful aim and set the goals that will transform your life.

Handling Vacationitus

I am probably guilty here of making up a word, but I think every goal oriented person has suffered from this ailment.  Vacationitus- is the depression and grief we feel when we return from a vacation five or ten pounds over our normal body weight and suffering the pain of having to try to reconnect with the pre-vacation disciplines of eating and exercise.  Vacationitus is a setback, a reversal, a loss of ground toward our significant goals, and even worse a feeling of being unable to re-establish the good routines we once were on.  Having just recently gone through this crisis myself, I wanted to share five techniques that helped me over come Vacationitus and shed the excessive weight and get back to work.  Here they are.

1. Remind yourself of how successfully you have been in the past

For instance in the area of weight loss your thinking would go like this:

You lost 35 pounds in the last two years! People were walking up to you and  saying “Boy you’ve lost weight.”   Remind yourself how good those comments felt and remind yourself you have the power to deal with this issue.  The fact is       that since you have already done it once, you can do it again.  Your pep talk  should be,  “You know you can do this… you already have, just get your mind around it and start today.

2.  What are you about?   What are you up to?

It’s time to review your goals. A reversal is a great time to remind yourself of what you really want out of life and why you want it.  Again if the concern is vacation pounds, here are some good questions to ask yourself:

“Why is it necessary to lose the weight? “

“What are the benefits of staying in shape?”

My answers revolve around Self esteem.  I just feel so much better about myself when I am at my goal weight.  It is boost to my sense of personal worth    to control my weight rather than to be controlled by my eating.

I remind myself of that confidence is necessary to reach my goals, and that I am so much more confident when I am working out and my weight is under control.

3.  Start today

Every vacation ends, yours is over, you had a great time, and you ate what you wanted, now’s the time to get back to the real world.  Vacations are not the real world. They are meant to give us a break from reality and to free us from our disciplines long enough to relax, and that’s why we love them.  But vacations are meant to be temporary so grow up, get tough, and get back to the routines that have been bringing you success.

4.  Dealing with a setback.

There are other kinds of reversals than simple weight gain on vacation, but many of the same principles still apply. Maybe you have had an injury that is hindering your physical workouts. This can be very frustrating when you are pursuing physical training goals, but we have to be careful not to let it cause us to simply give up our pursuit of fitness.

I recently have been dealing with a knee injury that has slowed by workouts and led to much frustration on my part.  Here a couple questions I asked myself to get me going again in physical activity.

All right my leg is hindering exercise, but is it eliminating it?

Be honest, Kim, are there some things you can do physically?

Where can I get some good advice?  An injury is the time to invest in the cost of  getting good advice from qualified professionals.  Don’t quibble over spending  a few hundred dollars now, which might save you thousands in medical costs in  years to come.

5.  Others have done this, look to them.

This is the final technique and it’s an “oldie but goody.”  Success leave clues, and if others have overcome vactionitus and reversals in their lives they no doubt  have written or blogged about it.  Find them, read them, and copy them when they make sense.

Vacationitus happens to us all.  Reversals are part of life.  You can get back on track and reach goals.  So put down that doughnut and get out your workout gear and get started again on your dreams.